lets live again

i wanna fuck around in the stupidest city of the world with some nonsense people that aren't even funny. i want to feel a feeling throughout my whole body that i've never felt before. all i want to see is my nose, and my bangs, because this shit is from MY prospective. things should be different when i feel this feeling. it needs to be OUT OF THIS WORLD. but i know it wont be. i need to lay in musty grass with an umbrella when it's not raining. i need to have a conversation that starts out in the a.m and ends in the p.m. do you know who you are? cause if you do come say hi. i hope it rains hard enough that i have to take my hoodie off from the lack of energy i have to carry it on my back because it's so drenched with douche bag mother nature. i want it to hail so hard, that it puts a permanant hole in my head. i want there to be a someone who walks in on me while im peeing in a public restroom. i want to look for someone, but i dont know what they look like. i want to be surrounded with thousands of people that aren't even looking at me, but i want just that one person to kidnap me, so i can fall in love with him. i want a preview of his face. but when he kidnaps me, i want him to have a bag over his head. i want him to be the most vibrant, crazy, psycho stranger in the history of strangers. i'm gonna stop being scared of what's gonna happen next, im gonna stop being so afraid of what people say to me and what tone they say it, im gonna stop being this huge pushover that i am, just so i can meet this one person that i've been dreaming about. i don't know who it is, and i don't know where they are, and I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE ALIVE OR ALIVE YET. i can't look at some fucked up off white photograph and tell you 'thats the person i've been dreaming of.' because well, i don't know who they are yet.