i miss you.

i just need someone there.
beside my bed watching me if i'm sick.
'cause noone really cares anymore.
i remember when my gramma was still here,
if there was the slightest chance i was sick,
she was right there.
i've been thinking about that so much lately.
i haven't been crying, but i miss her so much.
i know, this is really stupid to type in a blog,
but i can't say this enough;
that i really miss her.
if i could die and come back, i totally would just to go see her.
she was like, another mom.
i was over there everyday when i was little, and i got attached.
really, i did.
she's the reason why i'm the person i am, basically.
she taught me so much.
and i'll never forget her last days.
i remember, when it was a week until she died.
and i was totally clueless.
i was outside with my friends, enjoying myself, while she was stretched out on a hospital
bed with IV's sticking out of her neck.
all i ever heard was, "you have to see youre gramma before she dies."
and i wouldn't budge.
cuz i didn't want to remember her like that.
she looked so helpless.
then finally one day i went, and cried my eyes out.
my dad kept telling me how much he was gunna miss her, and all i could was listen.
i remember when she grabbed my hand and swung it like old times, when we used to go to the
mall together.
she wrote on this one piece of notebook paper not to cry.
but that made me cry even harder.
the last day i seen her all horrible in the hospital,was when she was so out of it with morphine.
then, she died.
i went to her funeral, and held back the tears.
i watched all my family members sob into their hankeys,
but i fought.
cuz i remembered the notebook paper, "don't cry, it'll be okay."
i know this is so cheesy.
but i really miss her.
like, really.
i wish she could come back.
i miss you.