count me in; or breakup.

did you ever wonder why two people can't stay together for good?
like, they act like they were never in love before.
like, when they were in love before, they didn't say ONE bad thing about eachother
behind their backs;
but it's like, as soon as they break up they say everything horrid about eachother
right off the bat.
and i'm clueless, and someone really needs to fill me in, PRONTO.
cuz i'm just like a spec of dust in the 'divorced' world.
i'm floating aimlessly, and all the other specs around me know where their going.
and i don't, really.
if you were in love once before, why can't it ever work out again?
if you actually LOVED that person, and you weren't lying through your teeth,
why can't you guys have a chance of getting back together?
we could be a big happy family again.
or, atleast we can try.
it probably won't work out because youre an asshole, and you'll never change.
you've put me through 12 years of hell, and quite frankly, i'm NOT sick of it.
i hate you, but still want you to love me.
so i don't disrespect you.
i CAN'T disrespect you.
remember that one day on my eight birthday, where i asked if we could go put putting,
and you PROMISED me you would go.
but when i came back to ask you later, you were hungover on the couch from the night before,
and told me your back hurted?
for my BIRTHDAY!
is there something wrong with the little amount of brain cells in youre fat ass head?
oh,
and remember when you would tell me to stay up in my room the whole entire night while my mom went bowling?
and i would come downstairs and see you snorting coke with youre buddies?
i don't care, really.
YES I DO YES I DO YES I DO!
please, tell me why you even made me, if i was just put on this earth to be neglected by you.
i really want you to love me, but you don't give a flying shit if i even died the next week.
i love you,
but i hate you.