freedom at last

i've FINALLY done my time.
and i can't tell any of you how glad i am now that that's all behind me.
i still have the punishment.
but im just glad i can stay downtown and be dirty with people i'm in love with.
i'm so happy that i'm not stupid anymore, and i finally realize what purpose i serve.
it's such a good feeling.

i can't even express the joy i'm feeling.
it's like, a milkshake just entered my veins,
i'm feeling the chills of being happy.
im feeling the colors of the sprinkles.
it's pickling my insides with smiley's.

and it's making my skin tight and happy.
i can finally smile again.
and it feels
SO
GOOD.

eternity.

is lost.
eternity is the blue thats in the sky,
the taste our coffee is in the morning,
the razor blade that cuts our skin.
eternity is the outlet i plug my lava lamp into.
its the eraser i use at the end of my chewed pencil.
its the never ending bliss of love.

eternity is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.
its your most favoritest color.
its the taste of lips of the person you never want to stop kissing.
its your favorite candy.

eternity is a secret.
whisper it to your friends tomorrow.

it can be anything.
and i've found it. (:

lets live again

i wanna fuck around in the stupidest city of the world with some nonsense people that aren't even funny. i want to feel a feeling throughout my whole body that i've never felt before. all i want to see is my nose, and my bangs, because this shit is from MY prospective. things should be different when i feel this feeling. it needs to be OUT OF THIS WORLD. but i know it wont be. i need to lay in musty grass with an umbrella when it's not raining. i need to have a conversation that starts out in the a.m and ends in the p.m. do you know who you are? cause if you do come say hi. i hope it rains hard enough that i have to take my hoodie off from the lack of energy i have to carry it on my back because it's so drenched with douche bag mother nature. i want it to hail so hard, that it puts a permanant hole in my head. i want there to be a someone who walks in on me while im peeing in a public restroom. i want to look for someone, but i dont know what they look like. i want to be surrounded with thousands of people that aren't even looking at me, but i want just that one person to kidnap me, so i can fall in love with him. i want a preview of his face. but when he kidnaps me, i want him to have a bag over his head. i want him to be the most vibrant, crazy, psycho stranger in the history of strangers. i'm gonna stop being scared of what's gonna happen next, im gonna stop being so afraid of what people say to me and what tone they say it, im gonna stop being this huge pushover that i am, just so i can meet this one person that i've been dreaming about. i don't know who it is, and i don't know where they are, and I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE ALIVE OR ALIVE YET. i can't look at some fucked up off white photograph and tell you 'thats the person i've been dreaming of.' because well, i don't know who they are yet.

standing on T.V's

the time is going so slow.
boxes are full and so is my tummy.
plastic bags for picking up littler clutter the room.
paper is shredding in the background.
pink lipstick on my pillowcase, half on my face.
paper cuts cover my hands.
baskets full of dirty pants.
hoodies are damp from the rain, and so is my hair.
how can people miss this?
how can YOU miss this?

we're all living just to breath.
we're all breathing just to live.
we're all blinking so we can miss an awkward silence.

and we're all walking because we're nervous.
can you keep up?
are you ahead, or just a corpse straggling behind?
can you laugh without smiling?
can you kiss without your lipstick?

can we survive?
only time will tell.

bikes.

let's ride our bikes to somewhere worth going.
we will find our way, i promise.
there's beauty all around us, and the clouds will guide us.
it'll be our path.

there's beauty in this land,
it surrounds us.
pedal faster!
get away!
FASTER
FASTER

they're behind us for the rest of our lives.
let's ride our bikes to Australia.
and yes, over the seas too.
we only have $5.

but we have more than a hobo.
it'll get us through.
we can survive off of hoho's and zebracakes.
we can get energy off of each other's smiles.
because yours makes me wanna live forever.

dazzle me,
and i'll be sure to amaze you.

BELIEVE!

i believe in the color orange.
i believe in stingy paper cuts,
i believe in cute boys.
i believe laughter is the best calorie burner.
i believe in glowing.
i believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
i believe that happy people are the prettiest.
i believe in being strong when everything else
seems wrong.
i believe in cuddling.
i believe in patched quilts.
i believe in freezpops.
i believe that tomorrow is a new day.
and i believe in miracles.

give me a paper cut.

i feel like i don't belong.
i feel un-invited.
i have the fragile bones of a fetus, and a mind of a rainbow.

all for one and one for all.