don't tell me that i'm ordinary.

turn this door knob, to the left and now to the right. twist your lips in a shape i don't understand. believe you hold the key to my heart, you don't, and you never will. i'm scared, and i'm in this revolving, shaking, cold, world alone, and forgotten. don't let this stop. we're on a roll, we've been on a roll, but we're slowing down at different speeds. all i can think of is looking at the night sky, hearing whistles soar through the air, hearing and seeing US soar through the air. one day that'll happen. you never believe me anymore, because well. you hate me. i don't know when this is coming, i don't know where it's coming from, and it's unpredictable as ever. i miss you, i love you. but i've lost you, and you've forgotten me obviously. i want to scream where no one can hear me. scream at the top of my lungs, feel them tighten, and feel my throat bleed. i want to open my mouth as wide as i fucking can and scream until my heart gives out and tells me to stop. WHERE AM I GOING WHEN I DIE?! it seems i don't know where i lay when i sleep. and it seems i need to get my frustration out. start up the car, and drive to the nearest mountain that has a wooden sign that'll give me splinters. I FUCKING MISS YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. this has all turned out horribly, but i still want you in my life. you're walking out, and i'm
WALKING IN.