i've been chasing.

and im finally caught up.
im the girl who i used to be.
i love everything.
i love everyone.
sept, there's this place that pops into my head sometimes when i dont love everything and everyone.
its called the dumbest place in the world in my head.
its a place where you want a blanket to cover you up from the monsters.
you want someone there for you when you need them the most,
but their not in arms reach.
or any reach at all.
its a place where, you have no preview of anything, or anyone.
you cant meet anyone there.
the trees never grow leaves.
no happy music,
no colors,
no rainbows,
no pretty people.
their all discolored, and mean.
like, almost in a horror movie, but in real life.
i sometimes have nightmares about this place when i have a bad day.
it always wakes me up in the middle of the night, or causes me not to sleep.
i dont know.
maybe i need some kind of help?
but, i've met people that have been in the same position.
like, in this "dumb place" theres nothing.
no birds chirping,
no sun,
no pretty flowers,
no water fountains,
its full of MAD.
like, okay,
for example, say that. . . the MEANEST kid you have bothering you, were to be in this "dumb place".
in this place, they would probably be 10 TIMES WORSE than they already are.
sometimes, when i feel unstoppable, and that i can do anything,
i get sort of like, high? on it. if that makes sense.
then, i do something totally stupid.
and i come to this place.
not stupid as in funny stupid though.
stupid as in like, what the fuck why the hell would you do that, stupid.
i dont know, maybe im crazy.
but, thinking of it. . .
doesnt this place sound like, the world?