my arms are tired from trying to talk to you. 'cause whenever i try to talk when im angry, i talk with my hands. WHY ARE YOU SO CARELESS? you cant expect me to sit under this roof all god damn break. i hate how you say you dont care you dont care you dont care. i heard it 20 times, i dont need to hear it 20 more. im not just writing this for my health, im writing this in hope that you'll stumble upon it on youre mac. that im not aloud on. SDKLFJSIOEJFOSEF! KILL ME. im getting so sick and tired of you ragging and nagging and yelling and screaming about absoloutley nothing. things you shouldnt even flip out over. everytime i ask you something, its like living world war 2 in 2008. i swear. im sorry im not the child you hoped for, not like i was planned or anything. so was i meant to be here? god, i hope not. im probably just another mistake in youre life, that you cant erase. you probably wish you could. I WISH I COULD.
who the hell am i kidding here? i dont have to impress anyone. noone in this god damn family is THAT important to me. i mean yeah, youre important sometimes, but at times like these, i wish i had an ocean to drown in. i live the same exact thing everyday, no computer, i listen to music, no music, i lay there, i dont lay there, i walk, i dont walk i sleep; wake up do the same shit again. if i do have a computer i sit on blogger and vent. IM SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING FUCKED UP! and im living life a safe ass mess.
THANKS TO YOU.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
lets get INVISIBLE.
just for a sec. cause this life is passing me by. passing me up. running me over.
day after day, i just sit here in front of this machine and think it gives me something to do, when really i could be outside eating green freezepops and sipping capri suns with my friends.
i could be saying racial slurs in front of my best friends house, while people look out their doors.
everyone's mad at me. i dont know what i did. or what they did to get them mad at them, so that they could be mad at me. the only thing im doing thats exciting is sitting here typing on this blog, when i could really be going to play guitar hero. fuck. what am i saying? i need to not stare at a screen for like a day. maybe it'll make me realize how dumb im being, and why people are getting so mad at me lately. i want to be death free. cause im always going to someone's funeral. im going to my uncle bobby's this weekend. (i dont even know who uncle bobby is). see? im so clueless. noone's here to fill me in on anything. all you have to do is pretend im that little bubble on youre pssa's or something, and just fill me in with youre pencil. thats all im asking for. but you refuse to even do that. how lazy can you get? how lazy can i get? i kick and and i scream when you talk to me. but, you already knew that.
day after day, i just sit here in front of this machine and think it gives me something to do, when really i could be outside eating green freezepops and sipping capri suns with my friends.
i could be saying racial slurs in front of my best friends house, while people look out their doors.
everyone's mad at me. i dont know what i did. or what they did to get them mad at them, so that they could be mad at me. the only thing im doing thats exciting is sitting here typing on this blog, when i could really be going to play guitar hero. fuck. what am i saying? i need to not stare at a screen for like a day. maybe it'll make me realize how dumb im being, and why people are getting so mad at me lately. i want to be death free. cause im always going to someone's funeral. im going to my uncle bobby's this weekend. (i dont even know who uncle bobby is). see? im so clueless. noone's here to fill me in on anything. all you have to do is pretend im that little bubble on youre pssa's or something, and just fill me in with youre pencil. thats all im asking for. but you refuse to even do that. how lazy can you get? how lazy can i get? i kick and and i scream when you talk to me. but, you already knew that.
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